Are you a redneck if you can chew your own toenails?

Or have you ever wrestled your mama for the last can of beer?





I love redneck one liners. Got any good ones?Are you a redneck if you can chew your own toenails?
Redneck Pickup Line:





Nice tooth.Are you a redneck if you can chew your own toenails?
YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF YOU........


You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.





The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.





You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.





You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.





You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.





Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.'





You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.





Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.





Your junior prom offered day care.





You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are ';Gentlemen, start your engines';.





You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.





The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.





You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.





You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.





You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.





You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.





If you think Old Yellar is the name of your grandfather's tooth.





Old yellar is the name of your spouse's underwear.





Old yellar is the old lady up the road hollering for her grandkids to come in out of the rain.
You might be a redneck if you believe:


The clitoris is a type of flower.


A pubic hair is a wild rabbit


Spread Eagle is an extinct bird.


Vagina is a medical term used to describe a Heart Attack.


A menstrual cycle has three wheels.


A G-string is part of a fiddle.


Semen is a term for sailors.


Anus is a Latin term for yearly.


Testicles are found on an Octopus.


Asphalt describes rectal problems.


KO-TEX is a radio station in Cincinnati.


Masturbate is used to catch large fish.


Coitus is a musical instrument.


Fetus is a character on Gunsmoke.


An umbilical cord is part of a parachute.


A condom is a large apartment complex.


An orgasm is a person who accompanies a church choir.


A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry.


A dildo is a variety of sweet pickle.


An erection is when Japanese people vote.


A lesbian is a person from the Middle East.


Sodomy is a special land of fast growing grass.


Pornography is the business of making records.


Genitals are people of non-Jewish origin.
if you lose your boat padal and find out a sweeping broom is a good substitute,YOU MIGHT JUST BE A REDNECK!actually happened to my brother and me a couple of weeks ago.....it does work ! hope you liked hearing about it as much as we hate that you know about it!ha.we got a little hammered on bud-y-sir and wasnt able to fish soooooo..... we just broomed across the pond.
I love them too, but here is a big of trivia you did not want to know. Danny Bonaduce from the partridge family admitted on tv that he chews his own and you should have seen his wifes face, she is now his ex, ew ew ew
Why are you staring at that can? Because the can says concentrate !If your out-door kitchen has an old used toilet bowl %26amp; tub You might be a Redneck
you know your a redneck when you pee on the same tree your dog does